Removing the Barriers to Marriage
Dr. Maher Hathout, February 24, 2008
Marriage is about peace, compassion and everlasting.
Factors that are considered barriers for the marriage
1. Fixation on certain traditions.
- Woman should never say that she should get married. On the contrary, Khadija (Ra) proposed Prophet (PBUH) to marry her.
2. Peer pressure among adults.
- Woman wants her daughter to be married but concerned that she wouldn’t be able to find a suitable spouse for her daughter.
3. Demands of Materialism.
- Values became prices. The husband should have a good job, good income, and good car and should offer a good ring for the marriage etc.
- The man wants to become a doctor for him to be ready for the marriage. Hence he waits until 40 years of his age for the marriage.
- The woman wants to be independent, make enough money in case if the husband kicks her out and by that time she reaches 35 years of her age.
- There are also immature young couples who forget the responsibility of the family and instead think that marriage is just fun.
- There are few who wait until they get old i.e. until the age of 55, 60 or 70. Marriage does not require adoption but adaptation or adjustment with the other person that gets stiffer as one gets older.
4. Victims of norms of society in which we live.
- - Not putting emphasis on character like selflessness, sacrifice, giving, adopting, superiority/inferiority complexes, and more horizontal relations or vice versa.
- The moment one gets married, idea of divorce shouldn’t be entertained even though shariah (Islamic Law) allows it.
Excerpts from the Sunday lecture addressed by Dr. Maher Hathout at the Islamic Center of Southern California, Los Angeles on February 24, 2008.